Being secure is almost as frightening as being insecure. When You’ve spent most of your life with the struggle, it's hard not to go back to the Bukowski bum. It's a weird feeling knowing you will never see the honest struggle again. My new struggle will be the pappy struggle, and that struggle will be where to find it. It's important not to forget how you got here, and you must always stay humble. 

You would think that a job that gives you financial security would serve  as a catalyst to your existential crisis but no. In fact it may have made it worse “ Because when you know nothing matters the universe is yours”. But of course you already knew this, you simply allowed it to manifest into existence.