Circa during the pandemic

Dear M, 

 I have written a few of these in a notebook at work and this is a few of them combined. It's sort of therapeutic for me and helps pass the time at work. I feel like I’m writing from a prison. I hope you never find yourself needing to work at amazon. 

Losing you wasn’t easy for me. It doesn’t help that I spent all day thinking about it.I alway kept our relationship during the pandemic in a tiny bubble of hope. I must admit that it fueled me over the months of isolation. I have always lived off bubbles of hope. When you’ve been through a certain amount of adversity you find out that there is actually very little that can stop you from accomplishing things in life.I can’t believe the world is still in lockdown, never have i read any history book about this happening before. Losing you hurt me tremendously. I just kept having flashbacks of Florida and Vegas in my head.To be honest, I haven't felt this emotional about something since I left the RC in Phoenix. It took some time to get the emotions through my mind. I kept the memories locked in my head through quarantine. Idk…. I’ve had way too much time to think during this time.I needed you to tell me no. I needed a reality check, and that's what you gave me. I mean it's been 10 months since we’ve seen each other and you could have had a child in that time frame. It did occur to me that the relationship wasn’t going to work out. Nobody does a relationship over zoom( Except David). Also, we never talked about how you broke up with me. It was definitely an over text message( annoyed emoji here). Such a millennial thing to do. Sorry to say that I wasn’t listening to T-Swift for break-ups songs as her catalog is aimed at teenage girls.I was torn betweens Adele’s Hello and The Kill, 30 seconds from mars mixed in with a lot of Blink182 and Machine Gun Kelly’s new album. Just in case you were wondering.