I have spent most of my working career inside luxury hotels. Why do I have to write this stupid cover letter? Can’t I just tell them that I’m good with people and that I need to interact with them. If forced to put it into words, I might start the romanization of hospitality. This of course starts with the childhood day dream of becoming a butler. Yeah, that wasn’t normal. It took a turn when I wanted to become a teacher. It really just solidified when I drank that kool aid when I was 21. Then came the cult. “ We don’t say no” “ What’s the credo” “ We are Ladies and Gentlemen Serving Ladies and Gentlemen” Yeah, well this Gentlemen is about to get his ass beat. “ Be our guest!”

     Yes! Please, be our guest

    You could have gone to any hotel or resort but you came back to us

     We will take care of anything you need

    After all, we know what you want before you even want it.

    Yes sir, we are all a bunch of sociopaths running this hotel

    Now please follow me to your room, we have a charcuterie board waiting for you

   Look at that

  It would seem your money isn’t good inside this room

  You have the same problems as me

  Fucking jackass

 Your drunk

Eat the fucking chicken wings and get the fuck to sleep

I’ll have the coffee and tylenol waiting for you in the morning

Yes, I am aware of the night you had

The staff had a good laugh at it.

These will be stories to tell our kids

Now it's time to get your shit together sir

Yes, well, I wouldn’t have done that line of cocaine, I meant more of the fresh fruit downstairs for breakfast. 

The fulfillment of delivering ice buckets will only be such, but it's worth the five dollar each time

Yes, I know she’s a prostitute

Yes, I was going to go on a date in an effort to get laid but I guess the cucumber water in the spa is more important

I see, the dog is more of a person than me

Of course it is

I’m simply the help

But you should know the actual cooked meat you ordered for your dog was eaten by me and  was replaced by the meat in the cafeteria

So we’ll see who’s better than who now

Mr.Smith likes Frito’s

 Let's make sure he has Frito’s in his room upon check-in

The guests live in my world.

I can’t wait for that drink at the bar